“Bob, I'm sorry
I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess:
I have been helping myself to your wife when you're not around, probably more than you
It's been so incredible and fun, I've not been able to stop myself
Sometimes it goes on for hours and hours.
I know it's no excuse but I don't get it at home
I can't live with the guilt any longer
I hope you'll accept my sincerest apology
It won't happen again.”
Feeling outrage and betrayed, Bob grabs his gun, goes into the bedroom, and without a word, shoots his wife.
Moments later the guy gets a second text:
“Bloomin' auto-correct, it'll be the death of me! I meant to say ‘wifi'”